Skate Skate Glide

My Silent Testimony: Recently I have been struggling with debilitating anxiety and depression which has affected my ability to speak in public.  I used to love public speaking but now for whatever reason, I struggle to be in front of people, even my friends.  Every fast Sunday comes and goes and I have things on my mind that I wish I could share.  The idea popped into my head the other day that I should at least write down what I would have said so I will have  a record of my testimony, to help remind me on hard days why I believe what I believe.

So here is the first installment of my silent testimony….

Skate, Skate, Glide

I love ice skating!  I’m terrible at it but there is no better therapy for me than to lace up a pair of skates and go.  When I was eleven years old, I lived in Holland.  Ice skating was incorporated as part of our PE class.  We would get bussed to the nearest frozen pond and skate, skate, skate.  To this day, every time I see someone ice skating, I am taken back to my wonderful childhood memories of what I nicknamed Swan Lake.  I don’t get the chance to skate that much so when the opportunity arises you better believe I’ll be there.  For the last few years, my niece who celebrates the same birthday as my daughter Kristen, has had an ice skating birthday party.  Ice skating as an adult is totally different than skating as a child.  The falls hurt more and tend to knock bones out of place.  A few years ago, as I stepped on the ice I forced myself to fall so I wouldn’t be afraid of it.  However, this past year I didn’t fall once.  Oh sure I pulled a couple of muscles trying to regain my balance but no serious injuries were acquired;)

I’m not the most graceful skater.  I may love it but I’m still terrible at it.  I hold onto the rail just like the beginners.  Something life changing happened to me this year a few weeks ago as I was holding onto the rail.  My sister in law Rachel gracefully skated up to me and said, “You should try to let go.”  She smiled and her eyes twinkled as she said in her beautiful New Zealand accent, “Skate, Skate, Glide…”  In all my years of attempting to ice skate I don’t think anyone has ever taken the time to teach me how.  Skate, skate glide was the most simple yet revolutionary phrase I had ever heard!  So I tried it.  And guess what?  It totally worked!  I let go of the rail.  Skate, skate, glide.  I held back onto the rail full of wonder and amazement that it actually worked.  I tried again.  Skate, skate, glide…  My glide went a little further.  Wow, this worked so much better than my choppy step, step, try not to die method I had been using for years!  Skate, skate glide…  I started to venture away from the bar.  Skate, skate glide… Hey I can do this.  I started looking around and saw all the other skaters and tried to imitate how graceful they looked.  I lengthened my stride only to Skate, Dig, Trip.  I laughed as I slammed into the wall.  I held onto the bar and steadied myself and repeated, “Skate, skate, glide….”  Once again I ventured out on the ice.  As soon as I was getting the hang of it, the alarm sounded that all ice skaters had to leave the ice for the Zamboni to smooth out the divots and roughness of the ice.  Aw man, I was finally gaining confidence I thought to myself as I exited the rink.

I watched the Zamboni smooth out the ice and was amazed at how sparkling, glassy smooth the surface was.  We watched in a trance as the Zamboni went to one side and then the other.  The driver had obviously done this many times and knew the exact pattern for the maximum coverage.  The Zamboni resurfaced the entire rink...not a spot was missed.  

Once the Zamboni was done with the beautifully glistening sheet of ice, the skaters returned.  I re-entered the rink with trepidation.  I didn’t want to mess up the ice.  Then they announced that the skaters had to change directions.  My heart sank.  I was doing so well skating counter-clockwise.  Could I possible skate clockwise too?  I gripped the bar as if my life depended on it.  My sister in law gracefully skated by and said, “Come on Allie, You got this.”  I took a deep breath and said “Skate, skate, glide...right?”  And you know what?  It worked again!  This time I was more confident, a little more graceful, and a lot faster.  Oh don’t worry I went at my own pace and didn’t try to keep up with the others around me but somehow being surrounded by others who made skating look effortless, I found myself gaining more poise and confidence at every turn.  I got lost in the music.  Skate, skate, glide...The better the music, the better I skated.  I still didn’t master stopping and slammed into plenty of walls and left plenty of divots in the ice but overall my experience was glorious and dare I say therapeutic!

Lest you think this is just a skate-a-mony …. Now for the testimony;)  As members of the church whether just newly baptized or born into it, we all have to learn the Gospel.  I thought how repentance is like that Zamboni.  Throughout life we make huge divots in the ice and our rinks are covered in scratches and marks from missed steps, trials and errors, and the occasional slams into walls.  In order for us to have the blessings of the atonement, we must resurface our lives...to the very edges to get that perfect glossy shine.  All Heavenly Father requires of us is to keep trying, or in other words skate, skate, glide!  As we surround ourselves with people who believe in us and coach us along, we can be assured we will get better and better navigating our way through this world.  As we get lost in the music of life or in other words, living the gospel principles, our attempts at becoming more graceful will increase.  And every now and again when life throws us a curve and we have to “change directions”, we will find that if we trust in our Savior that we will be able to be just as successful as we implement the same skate, skate, glide techniques!