Songs I Cannot Sing

I was blessed to watch eight hours of General Conference this past week as well as the Women's session from the previous week.  Rather than try to summarize 36 pages of notes (it's a small notebook;)), I would like to focus on one of my favorite talks and apply it to myself.  The rest, well...you will just have to go to www.ls.org to glean your own insights.  The talk that spoke to me the most was Jeffrey R Holland's talk based on the hymn "There is Sunshine in My Soul Today".  I was moved to tears as he said, "Jesus listening can hear the songs you cannot sing".  Maybe I was moved because at that very moment I had no voice.  I am going on day five of laryngitis!  One of my favorite parts of conference is lifting my voice in praise and song with the world wide congregation.  Due to my vocal status, I was only able to whisper one monotone note.  For those of you who know me, you might imagine how frustrating that was for me all weekend and heading into this week.  I sing all the time!  But I digress...back to the talk... The highlight quote of Elder Holland's talk was, "All God's critters got a place in the choir".  No matter our inadequacies and weaknesses, the Lord beckons to us with open arms to come sing!  We don't have to wait for a chair to turn as in the tv show The Voice, he is already facing us and "showing his smiling face"!  As Holland said, the Savior has perfect pitch so for Him to invite us to sing with Him, though imperfect we are, is quite an honor and dare I say a tender mercy of the Lord.

This week has been crazy for a girl who lives with and manages anxiety on a daily basis.  I have a hard time adjusting my routine to something new or different.  I almost titled this post "Not April Fools".  The following are a list of things that have happened in the last week that for whatever reason have rocked my world.  Things that I have had to rely on the Savior to calm my anxious heart.  Ok so maybe changing shampoo and body wash in the same week didn't require prayer but you get the idea;)

Not April Fools:

1.  Switched Shampoo and Body Wash brands and scents (I've used the same for almost two years)

2.  Drove Joe's new 78 Ford truck for the first time in a hail/snow storm yesterday.

3.  Will withdrew from Hamilton High School.

4.  After much prayer and pondering Will decided to transfer to Victor High School so he can continue playing basketball for his senior year next year.

5.  I'm now driving Will's Lexus so he can have my reliable Honda Accord to drive the 20 minute commute.  (Yeah, I still severely dislike driving no matter the vehicle)

6.  Carlie changed her mission availability date from end of summer to June 1st!

And lucky 7.  I still have laryngitis!!!

I wish I wasn't so much of a Nim's Island type of Jodi Foster but that's what anxiety does.  Anxiety makes you believe you can't live without your lucky charm.  Anxiety strips you of confidence.  Anxiety makes you want everything to always be the same and the slightest deviation in the plan can be catastrophic;)  So yes, watching General Conference this past weekend is just what I needed to re-ground myself, take a deep breath, and continue to put one foot in front of the other.

So here was my takeaway and insights gained from all the talks this weekend:

1.  Study the Living Christ

2.  Find names and do temple work

3.  Be ALL in with Faithful Focus so I can be a permanent member of God's choir

4.  Replace fear with faith!

I am so thankful for our living prophet, apostles, and general authorities who spoke directly to my heart.  I hate coming down off the high of the weekend which is probably why I take so many notes.  That way I can refer to my insights throughout the next six months.  I also keep a list of primary songs that were either sung or quoted throughout the sessions.  Singing time in primary is going to be epic this Sunday!  Well, hopefully I will have my voice back by then;)  Hope everyone got a chance to listen or watch conference this weekend.  Remember. "Don't look around...look up!" 

love, 

allie

aka:  MamaJ