January 2014: Get Your Sparkle On!

This year's blogging is going to be different in that I will only be blogging once a month. I have so many other writing, editing, and craft projects I want to accomplish but I still want there to be a record of the Jessop Family's Adventures.  And so we begin January with a song that inspired my New Year's Resolutions.

Get Your Sparkle On!

     http://youtu.be/IxxQg3sAf4s

     This year's New Year's Resolution word for me is Sparkle!  Yes, this is a Barbie video and yes, this is where the word came from.  The word "sparkle" was found by watching Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale with Kristen.  Kristen and I spend a lot of time alone together.  Joe spends a lot of time away coaching basketball season; Carlie spends a lot of time away playing baskeball; Will is always hanging out with friends; Kristen is stuck home with me.  I was pleasantly surprised with her choice of movie one Saturday night.  In the movie, everything was going wrong for Barbie so she decided to have a change of scenery with her Aunt who lived in Paris.  While there, she embarks on a fun journey to save her Aunt's fashion line.  With a little help from the flairies (Glimmer, Shimmer, and Shine), she is able to achieve her goals.  Watching the movie, I was able to escape from my anxiety and I allowed myself to get totally caught up in the make believe world of beauty and glamor.  This song, Get Your Sparkle On, made me think about what I want out to 2014.

Here is my magic 7:
1.  I long for my self esteem to come back.  (Anxiety shredded my self esteem)
2.  I want to look my best and dress for success even though I rarely going anywhere.
3.  I need to be more adventurous and not be afraid to have a change of scenery every now and again.
4.  I want to wear a little makeup to hide my age spots and wrinkles.  The younger I look, the better I feel.  Yes, its shallow but I'm just keeping it real.
5.  Sometimes when depression starts showing its ugly head, I need to remember the magic within me.  Singing this song actually helps me but the true magic comes when I remember to pray!
6.  I want to be so happy that I sparkle to those around me.
7.  I want to align my life with the teachings of the Savior so I shine. I want to be worthy to go to the temple.  I want to be so clean that I sparkle!

As the song says, "When you're in doubt....Glitter it out every time!"

My Jansen

Jansen was able to have a nice long break from college over the holidays.  I loved having him here!  He brought such a fun, carefree spirit back into our home.

     I loved going shopping in Missoula with him.  I love shopping period but don't go very often because of my "driving disorder".  So when he's home, he always takes me for a day in Missoula.  And of course I spoil him in return.  Check out his new shoes!

     I am so proud of my college kid!  I am privileged to rejoice with his successes as well as to cry with his sadness.  He texts me and calls me whenever he needs me.  The other night he texted, "I miss home mom".  Yeah buddy, home misses you too!  Of course he went on to say that he misses the Gwynns and Easton more than just us.  Haha!  Our house has not been the same since Jansen left...it feels empty without him.  I cried when he drove off again but know he is where he needs to be.  No matter if he is at home or at college...he always brings a smile to my face!

 

Black Snow:  Aka Mr. Whiskers!

      One Sunday morning during a snow storm, a black cat showed up on our deck.  He wouldn't stop meowing and so we thought something was wrong.  Kristen is our animal lover and immediately went into rescue mode by feeding it and giving it shelter from the wind and snow.

Introducing Black Snow!

After a couple days of taking care of it, and seeing the beautiful whiskers, he has become affectionately known as Mr. Whiskers.

     I'm not sure who loves the cat more....me or Kristen!  Mr. Whiskers is just what we needed.  We don't know who he belongs to but we will just love on him as long as he lets us!  He is very friendly around humans and is extremely obedient so we are pretty sure he must have another owner somewhere.  This is not just a stray cat...he is our Mr. Whiskers!

 

Weaving My Way Through Life

 

One of the ways I want to get my sparkle on is through challenging myself to learn new things.  So when they announced a weaving class in Relief Society I was all over that!  Here is the loom and coaster I wove.  I chose a yarn that was silk and had just a little sparkle to it.  I absolutely loved weaving for the first time!

Apparently, I am a natural!

 

Again, I was able to escape from the financial choas swirling around me by being able to learn something new, be around my friends, and being able to be creative!  After seeing this picture, I am hoping Joe will get a decent paycheck in February so I can get a haircut!  My hair has taken over my head and is ridiculously grey yet, I can remember how I got my sparkle on while I was at the loom!

Lady Bronc Carlie

This is Carlie's Junior year at Hamilton High School.  She gets to play 4 quarters JV and 1 quarter Varsity for the Hamilton Lady Bronc Basketball Team.  She has battled a hip flexor injury clear back from Cross Country Season!  She plays through the pain and ices after the game.  Nobody would even know she had an injury though with the way she plays!

Of course, I always have my side kick aka: velcro child everywhere I go.  What would I do if I didn't have my little fashionista with me everywhere?  She lights up my world!

I watch Carlie warm up with a little bit of anxiety hoping her groin isn't hurting from the previous 4 quarters of JV as she warms up for Varsity with her friends.

Joe doesn't get to go to many of her games because he has his own games down the road so I try my best to represent our family support for her.  I am so proud of my Carlie! 

She is a great shooter and amazing on defense too.  She's got the whole package deal!

Go Number Fourteen!

 

 

Close Your Eyes

      January has had it's ups and downs.  I still struggle with anxiety more than I would like to care to admit but everyday I wake up and put one foot in front of the other.  I do my Qui-Gong and Yoga exercises to stay centered but still my anxiety overtakes me.  I am learning to accept this unique quality I have.  It is what it is and there isn't anything I can do to change it at the moment.  I try to limit my crying.  I always tell the kids when they are getting ready to cry that there are some things in life worth crying about...and this isn't one of them.  However, I always leave the door open for tears when it is worth crying about.  They decide when to cry...not me.  

     This past weekend was especially challenging for me.  Will had the flu for 6 days straight so I wasn't able to leave the house.  I felt like all I did was laundry, cooking, dishes, and toilets!  Finally on Saturday, Will perked up but Kristen started puking.  I was done!  I felt undervalued, underappreciated, and just plain old invisible.  I hate it when my kids are sick.  I worry about how they are feeling, I worry about what they are missing in school, I worry about how long they will be sick, I worry about who they have exposed, I worry that I will get sick too, I worry that I can't comfort them, I worry...worry...worry.  Saturday night I had reached the end of my rope.  Our finances are in the hole.  Joe isn't getting paid and we don't know why.  The bills are paid but we are scraping for groceries and any extras.  I felt like our marriage was crumbling because I have no energy left at the end of the day to have any sort of happy coherent conversations.  I could literally feel the stress wrinkles appearing each day.  I wanted to run away to Utah and hang out with my own mom and dad.  Then I found out Jansen was there and I really wanted to go.  That was about the time Kristen started puking.  Nope, my place is at home.  Anyway, once Joe got the kids to bed, he called me into the room and gave me these:

 

     As if that wasn't enough to cheer me up, he then put on the song Close Your Eyes by Michael Bubble and he DANCED with me!  He held me close and the tears just started coming.  I couldn't hold them back.  No words were said....they didn't need to be.  He just let me sob through the whole song.  There are some things in life worth crying about....this was one of those times!  The next day I was able to use these flowers in an object lesson showing that "All things denote there is a God!"  I am not invisible to Him.  He is watching out for me.  My kids are all back to being healthy and so far I have not gotten what they had.  We have food in the pantry and the sun is shining.  Life is good...sometimes we just have to close our eyes!

Farewell Sister McCain

     I have had the privilege of serving as a ward missionary for the last quarter in 2013.  Joe and I were released in January.  Sister McCain has been an awesome asset to our Hamilton Ward for the last almost 6 months.  She just got transferred to Bozeman where I am sure she will continue to build the kingdom of God with her cheerful attitude and hard work ethic.  I will miss you dear sister!

Thankfully, Sister Siilata gets to stay!  I am absolutely amazed at her Selfie Skills.  I was afraid we wouldn't be able to get a picture of all three of us ;)  Good Luck Sister McCain!

Let Nothing Hold You Back!

Carlie has had an amazingly busy month.  She is in AP English, AP History, Pre-Calculus, and Physics!  Of course she has Choir, Spanish, and Intern too.  The lighting in her bedroom is comparable to a night light so she spends many long hours into the night at our kitchen table working on homework and studying for Finals.  I don't know how she keeps such a rigorous workload along with her basketball practices and games, but somehow she always manages to prevail.

The other night as she was working on her English Portfolio, I stumbled across a poem she had written.  I can't think of a better way to start this new year than with sharing her poem with you:

Let Nothing Hold You Back 

by Carlie Ann Jessop

Live in the present,

For tomorrow may be gone,

Live for right now,

And write another song.

Live with someone else,

And never leave their side,

Live not by yourself,

And don't give into pride.

Live as you are,

And don't you ever crack.

Live as you live,

And let nothing hold you back!